Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
