im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize