You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
