Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
