She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
