I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i think i have two assholes
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
