Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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