Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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