btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
