you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I will be naked everywhere
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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