we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
