I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think my vagina is haunted
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize