plz talk dirty to me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
