Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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