when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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