I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Vodka?
Forever.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I deserve this hangover.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
