you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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