Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
