I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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