if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just cut my nipple shaving
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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