Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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