he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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