ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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