Just cropdusted the office
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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