weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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