So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
