....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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