Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
