its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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