You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
