Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
