Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
