sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
