Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
