Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
