I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
