Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
