haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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