It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
