Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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