Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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