I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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