I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
