have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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