You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
