Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I don't deserve a penis
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize