your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
