Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Are we still banned from the library?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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