We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
