i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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