We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
