I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
