i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
