Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
