dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
