this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
