who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
