he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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