I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
