I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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