I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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