Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize