It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
