Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
